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the second balloon
23 September 2008 @ 03:21 pm
I can't read Russian at all, but I've been a long time member of ru_glamour anyway. That's because, quite frankly, the best fashion editorials go up there. I haven't seen many good ones from foto_decadent in a long while. And pictures don't need to be translated. They talk for themselves, much like music does, in a universal language.

Today I was excited to see that someone had posted the Lolita 1990 editorial here. I saw it a few years ago. It was my first introduction to Milla Jovovich, who was fifteen when the editorial was actually published. There are certain things I adore about it. In particular, the picture of Milla sitting on a chair in her too big shoes, all pointy heels and floaty skirts and soft eyes. Looking just like a child in dress up.

The editorial actually inspired me to read Lolita by Nabakov for the first time. The book has inspired a lot in the way of fashion and culture, but the story itself had a weird edge of seediness mingled with a dreamy kind of glamour that I've never stopped being fascinated by. Humbert describes nymphets as near mythical creatures of sexuality, but the underlying truth is Lolita - or Dolores - is a little girl. Not particularly smart, not particularly mature. Just a girl. I could talk about parallels to the celebrity business, but I think they're self-evident. The world of fashion is filled with fantasy, but there's a seedy edge too. I can't help being fascinated by that too.
 
 
the second balloon
16 September 2008 @ 03:05 pm
I have not posted in a while, which can be blamed on a number of things. I've sort of fallen out of fandom - Twilight in particular, and my interest in Harry Potter has been waning too. This is a damn shame, because I love fandoms and being part of them. But you can't fake enthusiasm when it just isn't there anymore. To be honest, Breaking Dawn killed a lot of my enjoyment. Despite that, at some point I'm definitely going to attempt to finish Like Footsteps In The Snow, if only for my own satisfaction, though I think it stands up well as it is.

India was amazing and life-changing, though not in the way I expected. I didn't find a place to fit in. Instead I found that I am Indian (and not), English (and not), and a lot of other things that have nothing to do with nationality and a lot more to do with being a rather grumpy artiste - and that it's okay to be like this, it's okay to be different. That was my revelation. I'm quite happy with it.

Beyond that, I've fallen into crush territory again. Let me demonstrate with Youtube: Deepika Padukone.

I'm not sure if I'm in love with the girl or the dress. So goddamn pretty.
 
 
the second balloon
Title: How You Call To Me
Rating: PG13
Pairings: Jacob/Bella (Jacob/OC, Edward/Bella)
Summary: Jacob and Bella learn that choice is more powerful than fate.
Disclaimer: Twilight obviously belongs to S. Meyer and not this skint humble author. Title stolen totally from The Voice by Thomas Hardy.

(woman much loved)
 
 
the second balloon
Title: Like Footsteps (In The Snow)
Part: 2/3
Rating: PG13 (later parts may reach R to NC17)
Warnings: Allusions to rape, dubious consent.
Pairings: Edward/Rosalie, some Edward/Tanya
Summary: Rosalie, still a newborn vampire safe in Alaska, is haunted by memories of her brutal end. Edward is just haunted by Rosalie.
Disclaimer: Title from Satellite by Oceanlab. Twilight obviously belongs to S. Meyer and not this skint humble author.

[Part One]

(Part Two)
 
 
the second balloon
04 June 2008 @ 11:30 pm
Do you hate having to rewrite a whole chapter because you made a stupid error?

I do.
 
 
 
the second balloon
03 June 2008 @ 01:56 pm
I have to start with a confession: I read Mills & Boon romance novels. The ones with titles like 'The Greek Tycoon's Mistress' or 'Her Flaming Passion', and scantily clad people frolicking on the front covers (often they are not scantily clad, but the frolicking point still stands). They are lovely, mindless feel-good fluff. So yeah, I enjoy reading them when I wind down. But sometimes - more often than I like to admit - I'll find one that just makes me see red. The one I read today was so bad I threw it at the wall in a fit of rage.

The plot of the book was pretty standard, unfortunately. Tycoon A used to know Wholesome Girl Next Door B. Through some misunderstanding Tycoon A came to believe that Wholesome Girl Next Door B had cheated on him/fallen in love with someone else/been a 'gold digging whore'. As she is unloveable, he decides to have sex with her rather than a whole relationship. Wholesome Girl Next Door B refuses, but Tycoon A overpowers her and convinces her that because she is physically attracted to him she isn't really saying no. Wholesome Girl Next Door B realises that, by golly, he's right! They have sex. Wholesome Girl Next Door is proved to be as pure and innocent as vanilla ice cream, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. The end.

I think my blood pressure rose just typing that.

Now, I understand the whole concept of powerful, dominant men being attractive. I more than understand the attraction of a power struggle in a relationship (and I'll leave that one at that, shall I?). But what pisses me off and makes me want to hack certain books apart and dance on their grave is the concept that just because a woman has a physical attraction to someone, her conscious refusal is not a real refusal. I am sorry, the hero's inability to see that doesn't make me sympathise with him, or fancy him. That makes me think he's a dickwad. What you feel and what you do are not the same thing, dickwad hero. Plz to be recognising that.

The heroine bothers me in this situation too. Why is there never any indication from her or the narrator (if it's not her), that this is wrong? That Tycoon A needs a kick in the balls, or possibly a prison sentence? But of course, this is fantasy, and we all write things we don't agree with. So this is all my own problem really. But - to possibly be slightly TMI - I gravitate towards instances of power struggle, of giving up and taking on control, both in fictional relationships and real ones. I think there can be something really gratifying and even self-strengthening in that. It still disturbs me to see that even in women-centric fiction that the Wholesome Girl B does not answer back (like Tycoon A can), can only be loved if she has never made big mistakes (unlike Tycoon A), and can love and live with Tycoon A despite the decimation of her own self respect and rights over, you know, her own body. Is this what women dream about? Is that what some people believe love should be?

All I can say is: Dear God, I sure hope not.
 
 
the second balloon
Title: Like Footsteps (In The Snow)
Part: 1/3
Rating: PG13 (later parts may reach R to NC17)
Warnings: Allusions to rape, dubious consent.
Pairings: Edward/Rosalie, some Edward/Tanya
Summary: Rosalie, still a newborn vampire safe in Alaska, is haunted by memories of her brutal end. Edward is just haunted by Rosalie.
Disclaimer: Title from Satellite by Oceanlab. Twilight obviously belongs to S. Meyer and not this skint humble author.

Cross-posted to twiriginal, twilightawry, edwardrosalie, twilight_fics & topazanddebussy. I'm such a cross-posting h0r.

(But in my mind I'll whisper every single word you say.)
Tags:
 
 
the second balloon
29 May 2008 @ 01:37 pm
Um. I think I'm starting to ship Edward/Rosalie.

...I'm going to go hide in a corner now.
 
 
the second balloon
I am back from my travels (again) and will be vanishing a week into June (again). I feel so strange at the moment. As if everything about me is changing, bit by bit. I guess this is what they call growing up, huh?

Instead of writing my next Carlisle/Esme fic for the twilight20 prompts, my brain has been evil. EVIL I SAY. I keep wondering: what if Carlisle had turned out evil instead of good? What then? And I shouldn't write it, that would be bad and pointless and bad and. Why won't the idea go away? Sigh.

But yes. Must get back to Moon and Moon. Or C/E fics. Or Edward/Rosalie smut. Or. Something.
 
 
the second balloon
22 May 2008 @ 09:41 pm
On my wandering around Ye Olde England I picked up a new notebook. It's gorgeous, covered in images of black and white flowers inlayed with silver. I have two main notebooks now. I'm going to use the silvery one as my diary and general notetaking book - because, frankly, every diary I've ever had has eventually turned into a story planner. The other notebook is plain black, slim with lined pages. It isn't beautiful like the other one, but it's my perfect kind of notebook. I use it to write my stories. Well, one story. It's all my own, not a fanfic, and I haven't worked on it for months. But now school has ended my creativity has started to creep back and wow, it is so totally awesome to enjoy writing again.

The best thing about notebooks is my inability to edit what I write in them. Sure, I can cross things out, but I can't delete whole paragraphs and pages, rewrite that misspelled word, stop midpage in horror because omg I suck at writing. Notebooks take away the fear. That's why I ♥ them.